Self-love: your arrival home
Self-love! A phrase used by so many people, so short and so deep at the same time, so easy to say but so difficult sometimes to feel; so studied and analyzed by psychologists or psychiatrists, so inspiring yet so frightening, so theoretical but rarely put into practice.
Perhaps due to cultural patterns, self-love is sometimes more related to us women, because we always want to look good and do many things to achieve it and that, definitely, is not questionable because we all have the right to look for options that help us enhance our beauty, and why not? To improve those parts of our body that we do not like that much. And this is where the keyword “like” comes in… it is one of the verbs most used by human beings: I like this, I don’t like that, I really like this person, I like this dessert, I don’t like how it looks so-and-so, I don't like how you talked to me, I like this job, I like that country, I like that car, I didn't like that book, and when it comes to ourselves, we are the most ruthless judges...
Surely your own "I don't like" have already come to your mind, especially when it comes to our physical appearance... but have you thought about what they are based on? Let's remember that we are complete beings, we are not only made up of a body but also of a soul and have you ever stopped to think if you are like yourself inside? Is there beauty, love inside you or is there only chaos? Imagine for a moment, that you are walking down a street and you see a beautiful mansion, an amazing architectural work, that adapts to the style of house you are looking for... it looks "perfect" and you are amazed looking at it, but someone approaches you and says: that house is not what it seems, inside it is cracked, nothing works for it, the walls are corroded, the foundations are damaged, it does not support itself... would you still see it the same?
So, exactly what happens to us women, we struggle to look "perfect" on the outside... that's fine, but if those changes are not accompanied by internal work to perfect ourselves as human beings and most importantly, to accept and love ourselves, even with our imperfections, we will be like that house, apparently beautiful but uninhabitable.
And who do you think should be the first person to live in you?
Yes… yourself and sometimes we are so empty inside, that we cannot bear to live with ourselves, and that is why we desperately seek the love and approval of others. When we understand that we cannot love anyone if we do not love ourselves first, when we see ourselves with benevolence, when we learn to forgive ourselves, when we understand that the beauty of the soul is more important than that of the body... we will begin to see our body as that temple that we must care, but because a beautiful soul lives there and not because I simply want others to like me.
If you don't see yourself and treat yourself with love, with consideration, with respect, what makes you think that others will see you like that? So, when you become aware that beauty is not so much about “appearing”, but rather it is a matter of “being”, you will realize that you will begin to take care of yourself, not only physically but also emotionally and the best… you are going to be your own “safe place” and what you decide to do with your body will be a consequence of your desire to achieve integral beauty and because you have self-esteem that goes far beyond the body.
That balance is not taught, unfortunately, neither in schools nor in universities, you will not learn it automatically when you read a book on self-love, therapy will not be an automatic panacea to love you, physical changes do not guarantee that after your transformation you are going to love yourself by magic... this is a daily job, where day by day you begin to accept yourself, not to compare yourself, not to feel ashamed of your "mistakes" because, to begin with, you are calling them wrong, they are "learning"; to see your supposed "imperfections" as personal hallmarks that you can obviously improve, but by you and for you.
That day you will be ready to make the best aesthetic decisions, to put yourself in the hands of experts who will help you enhance your beauty, to work on that physical thing that still worries you, but that no longer torments you, because you know that you are a complete woman that you love yourself and that if you dress up on the outside, it's because you want to see yourself feel and look good. Then, the foundations of that house, your house... will be solid and will withstand any storm that life throws at you, because you will love yourself.
And when that happens… get ready… because you are going to free yourself from that heavy yoke that is seeking the acceptance of others, you are going to have a different shine in your eyes because it comes from within, from that place where everything is fine, because you love yourself. , because you accept yourself and because self-love lives in you.